The Answer (2 in 1) Dear PRESTO Customer (and a video of a GO Train)

Dear Customer,
Thank you for your enquiry.
The online PRESTO card activity is updated regularly as the transactions become available from the devices. This will typically take up to 24 hours from the time of your travels.

The “Last Updated” feature on the dashboard will display the date 24 hours from the last time your PRESTO card was used. For example, if you last travelled on May 22nd 2017, your “Last Updated” date should be May 23rd 2017.
I apologize for any confusion this situation may have caused.
Sincerely,
Ashley
The PRESTO Team

This is the response to my question about updating transactions so I could see if our missing card was in fact stolen/being used. Something seems to be missing in this approach. Like many things with Presto, I guess it makes sense after the explanation, but it's not intuitive up front.

And I guess the confusion about the email transaction was resolved when they emailed me back.

It's hot, I'm sitting in shorts listening to Black Mountain, maybe you can help me to understand why their answer bugs me. (It might be that I'm a dumb jerk, so don't hold back)

Here's a GO train passing by on its way into Hamilton downtown.
I love transit despite my grumblings here.